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Homeschooling: When Being Normal Looks Weird

Have you ever felt like you are the only "normal" one left?

Are you maybe the only one in your family who educates their children at home?  Are you the only homeschoolers in your church? Maybe you are the only ones in your community. 

When you abandon the ideal of traditional education you veer into (what is perceived by others) as weird territory? 

Sometimes I have just thrown my hands up to my husband and said, "Are we the only NORMAL ones left?"

When Being Normal Looks Weird: A Message to the Homeschool Critics

Have you ever felt like you are the only "normal" one left?

Are you maybe the only one in your family who homeschools?  Are you the only homeschoolers in your church? Maybe you are the only ones in your community. 

Sometimes I have just thrown my hands up to my husband and said, "Are we the only NORMAL ones left?"

At our very first  Great Homeschool Convention, we listened to a panel of Classical educators moderated by Andrew Kern.

A story was told by Martin Cothran that went something like this (I'm paraphrasing here, but you will get the general idea.):

In Australia there was a rugby match where all of the players were naked.   In the middle of the game, a fully clothed spectator went running across the field.  

Sometimes it seems as if WE, as homeschoolers, are that fully clothed spectator.  

Everyone on that field looks a certain way - and then we run across looking DIFFERENT. 

We get the feeling that being the only normal one left is weird, but as individuals who are convicted to home educate we must stay the course and do what we know is best for our own children.

After all, this new "normal" of compulsory schooling and assembly line education hasn't been around all that long. Educating your children at home used to be the way things were done.

Thinking deep thoughts about worthy ideals used to be in vogue. Reading REAL books used to be the norm. 

You get the point...

 

This story hit home with my husband and I at the convention. 

It really hit home, however, just a few days later.

In a series of unrelated events, we received criticism of our choice to homeschool (directly and indirectly). 

We were LONG past caring what others think of our decision to homeschool. After many years of doing this we KNOW this is the best path for our children, just as a parent that sends their child to school knows the best path for their child. 

After all, we shouldn't  do things to please others. We do not believe in conforming to the world.

When Being Normal Looks Weird: A Message to the Homeschool Critics

I didn't realize just how far we had evolved in our thinking until just recently. I was put in a position to articulate why we homeschool to a critic. After all, I consider myself a homeschool ambassador. 

I tried to pepper my words with grace and a remembrance of the time when I didn't quite understand why in the world someone would want to HOMESCHOOL. 

People criticize what they don't know or understand, and sometimes what intimidates or threatens them. 

When someone takes the time to criticize our decision as homeschoolers it tells me they either have too much time on their hands, or are woefully uninformed. I know, because this was once the way I behaved.

So my friends, the next time that neighbor, family member, or "friend" criticizes you (either to your face or behind your back), please remember the naked rugby tournament.

The next time you hear things like:

"Their children are so sheltered they won't be prepared for the real world. How are they going to learn to relate to other kids their own age? "

 

"You don't let your kids watch cable?"

 

"Do you really LIKE homeschooling?" (I actually got that one once.)

or (my personal favorite)

"Aren't you depriving the world of what your child has to offer?"

 - please remember what you are doing takes courage, sacrifice, and an obedience many people do not understand.

When I look at this picture, I remember a time  when we were at a crossroads. 

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My daughter had been crammed into the historically under-served "middle" in her public school classroom. Her once enthusiastic learning spirit had been squashed little by little. She didn't want to go to school because of a few mean girls in her class. She was only allowed to choose books from a certain shelf in the library because they were at her "reading level" (I knew she could read harder material, but they didn't give her the chance.). 

My son was thriving in a four year old preschool program at our church. I was literally sick thinking about putting him in public school Kindergarten and watching him go through the same equalization process. He was so very bright and precocious, too - if he didn't get a very patient, loving teacher he would probably spend the entire year in time out. 

Words from my time in graduate school for Educational Leadership kept ringing in my head:

"Schools are built for the adults that work in them, not the children."

Someone suggested I read Weapons of Mass Instruction.

That is when we just knew we had to make a change. 

We needed to return to NORMAL.  

I wish I would have known then what I do know about choosing to homeschool.

It isn't our job to make the critics understand; it is our job to raise these precious souls that have been entrusted to us in the best way we know how.

What we are doing by home educating our children is so normal it just appears weird.

My favorite scripture during these times of criticism is James 1: 2-4:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I like to meditate on these verses often. They keep me grounded and thankful. 

We are running a most worthy race, and if we persevere, we will lack nothing.

Remember - it's ok to look "weird" - you know you're really NORMAL. 


You CAN Homeschool

I've written an eBook chock full of encouragement, helpful advice, and so much more -- these are words from a former public school teacher, administrator, and parent. These words are born out of a need to help other parents in their homeschool endeavors.

This is our journey to being WEIRD.

I pray it blesses you.

Download the FREE eBook:


I'd love to hear your story about being WEIRD.

 Leave it for me in the comments below!

When Being Normal Looks Weird: A Message to the Homeschool Critics

Why You Can't "Standardize" Children

'Tis the season.

In our neck of the woods it's the CRCT. 

I've taught in systems where it was the ITBS.  When I taught in the state of Texas it was the TAAS. 

Whatever the letters you give them, standardized tests cause children to dread going to school for a week (sometimes longer) because they know the drudgery and boredom that awaits them.  

I am well aware of the "NEED" for standardized tests.

And that need doesn't have anything to do with children and what is best for them.

Why You Can't Standardize Children

 

I have a Masters Degree in Educational Leadership and Supervision. I spent two years of my life learning how to perpetuate the mass education and standardization of our nation's children - to turn them all into dutiful workers for the state. Before that I spent 10 years administering tests as a teacher in the public schools.

I could spout off dozens of "whys" for standardized testing - and sound quite convincing. 

I will be giving standardized tests this month in our homeschool.  I don't want to, but I have to (per the state of Georgia), and I know they need to be familiar with the reality of testing in our society.

No matter why they take the tests, children can't be STANDARDIZED, and neither can their learning.


Children are More than a Test

If you really KNOW a child, you know they are so much more than a test.  They are heart, soul, creativity, feelings, and a host of other things.

How can you measure subjective qualities like that?

Judging children by a test totally discounts their personalities and God given abilities.

Standardized Tests Can Be Outdated and Biased

When I was teaching I had a child ask me a question during the ITBS. This child was supposed to answer a series of questions based upon a picture. 

That picture was of a telephone booth. This was the year 2000. Phone booths were nearly obsolete, and in our suburban area this child had never seen one and didn't know what it was.

I couldn't help them.

That child missed every question in that section.

Their self esteem suffered because of a dumb test. I remember feeling so powerless.

I also worked in a 100% African American school. I wasn't aware how biased these tests are against African American children, but they are.  (That is a completely different blog post.)

Why You Can't Standardize Children

 

Ridiculous, right?

The system is so broken it's just overwhelming to even think about fixing it - so we'll just keep doing what we are doing.  That sounds like a plan. 

(sarcasm)

Teachers Are Devalued by Standardized Tests

I know so many wonderful teachers that were required to "teach to the test". They knew it was wrong, but they had to follow the rules of their administration.

I worked in one school where we had to place our learning objectives on a bulletin board in the hall... specific objectives in state mandated language. When people from the central office came by they were supposed to see evidence of "instruction to match testing goals."

Blech.

Those poor teachers. Talk about stifling creativity.

Those poor students. 

Poor everyone involved, really.

Standardized Tests Bring Out The Worst in People

People will go to great lengths to ensure their school performs well on "the test".

Just consider what went on right here in Atlanta a few years ago. How sad.

Reading this sums it up:

It "confirms our worst fears," says Mayor Kasim Reed. "There is no doubt that systemic cheating occurred on a widespread basis in the school system." The news is “absolutely devastating," said Brenda Muhammad, chairwoman of the Atlanta school board. "It’s our children. You just don’t cheat children.”

You just don't cheat children.

Or do we? 

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image credit

A Personal Story

I didn't really think very deeply about standardized tests until my daughter was affected by them. She always tested well. So well, in fact, that her second grade teacher recommended (after good test scores and personal observation) that she be "tested" for the talented and gifted program at her school (called REACH).

As a parent, I was very proud. She took the tests. 

We waited for the results.

Rather than receiving a call, or even an email, my daughter got off the bus one day with an envelope. The gifted teacher had given it to her that day at school and had told her not to open it. It was for mom and dad to open.

She excitedly gave it to me, anticipating the results inside.

Looking back, I should have waited and opened it privately. Instead, however, we opened it together in the driveway.

Inside, the message (in bold type) said:

"Your child, Anna, did NOT qualify for the REACH program."

From that instant I had a very disappointed little girl in my house. Nothing we could tell her would make her feel better about herself. 

I didn't care one bit about her not getting into the gifted program. I cared about my precious girl's heart that had been crushed - her self esteem trampled on. 

I expressed my dissatisfaction with the teacher and the principal. 

I kept thinking in the back of my mind how she would be pigeon holed into a track of classes in middle school - not eligible for "honors classes" because she wasn't on that gifted track.  

I felt sick to my stomach. How could "THEY" know -- that my daughter - at the age of 8 - could be confined to a lower track than other children?

This was one of the final nails in our public school coffin.

The final nail came when in the beginning of third grade, at the first parent-teacher conference, her teacher told me what a lovely girl Anna was.  She said (and I quote) "I don't see her as "gifted" but she certainly loves to please and this will take her far."

I wanted to mention how this "desire to please" and "love of learning" might just ensure her success more than someone who was naturally "gifted". Her drive and determination might actually serve her better in life.

I knew then and there I couldn't leave my child in this environment for much longer.

Oh, I know many children that did just fine there, but I wasn't willing to leave my child's future in the hands of a system that clearly didn't have her best interest at heart. 

And I think, if many parents really ask themselves what is best for their own child, they would agree with me.

But I also think that many parents are just too uninformed, hesitant, or afraid of homeschooling to give it a try.

My daughter left that school just one month later... and the rest is history.

Yet Another Reason to Homeschool

My children's education now is SO FAR from what I was perpetuating 15 years ago. 

I am so thankful for the right to homeschool. I am thankful to let my children be who God created them to be. I am thankful they will not be judged by their ability to "bubble in".

I am thankful for the courage we had to pull our kids out of a system that so obviously segregates, subdues, and shuts down our children.

In recent months I've thought a lot about how fortunate we are to homeschool, and how that decision has changed my family's life in so many ways.  

You might enjoy these popular posts:

When Being Normal Looks Weird

How Homeschooling Turned Me Upside Down

Stop Telling Me Why You Can't Homeschool

Also, the following books have greatly encouraged me as my thinking is dramatically shifting about education, testing, and children:

Dumbing Us Down:  The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

How Children Learn

How Children Fail

Free to Learn

 


 

I'm curious - do you have to give your children standardized tests in your state?  What are the requirements? 

What are YOUR thoughts on standardized tests?

Why You Can't Standardize Children

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