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Homeschooling Changes Your Priorities

 

Each year as the beginning of the traditional school year approaches, I contemplate our family's decision to homeschool. 

That decision took us a few years, and now I can see that those years were well spent. We were slowly being trained to change our priorities and soften our hearts towards our children. 

All of the seasoned homeschoolers out there are scratching their heads saying, "Well yes, homeschooling DOES change your priorities." 

I speak from experience, however, when I say that I had no idea just how MUCH homeschooling was going to change my priorities - my priorities as a mother, as a wife, and as a person in general.

{We are going into year FIVE of our homeschool journey, so I feel that I've learned quite a bit along the way.}

*This post contains affiliate links.

I'm writing this post for those of you that are new to homeschooling this year, those of you contemplating homeschooling, and yes - maybe even those of you further along the journey. 

I believe many people would LOVE to homeschool but just can't wrap their head around the changes that really need to be made to do it successfully. Not only can't they comprehend the changes, but maybe they actually DO comprehend the changes and just aren't willing to make the sacrifices necessary to homeschool their children.

And guess what?

That's OK.

Homeschooling is a daunting, difficult, task. 

If you aren't willing to make the priority changes necessary to homeschool,  you and your children will wind up unhappy and resentful.  Homeschooling isn't for everyone, and I respect each family's educational choice. My goal here is to talk about the necessary changes that will take place when you start homeschooling.

Let's go over those changes. Remember, I speak from the perspective of having had a child in public school until the third grade, so I understand what you are going (and will go) through.

I believe, however, that once you make the huge priority shift necessary to homeschool your family members' lives will be changed for the BETTER. 

Personal Space

I loved my personal space when my kids were in school. I'm talking about my physical personal space.  

I thought it was my RIGHT to have time alone while my children were in school.  One thing that actually came out of my mouth before my youngest headed to 5 day preschool was, "I have EARNED this freedom from my children. I worked hard over the past 8 years raising babies. Now it's time for ME."

How utterly selfish and misguided I was.

I am the type of person who needs quiet each day. I need to recharge my batteries with silence. 

Guess what? Kids are like this, too. 

I discovered I have children that need to recharge, also. That is why we have a down time in the afternoon where we retreat to our own spaces. 

I do not believe God designed our children to be away from their parents for eight hour stretches each day. 

We've all learned to give each other our personal space through quiet times, reading times, outside activities, and yes - sometimes going in the bathroom and locking the door!  

So yes, my personal space has been decreased, but I don't mind. I also find ways to carve out time for me in the middle of a busy day. I just have to WORK AT IT.

Suggestions:

  • Have a quiet time each afternoon
  • Be honest with your kids when you need a break
  • Solicit help from family to get some time to yourself.

I also highly recommend my friend Rachel's Dear Mom Letters - they provide just the encouragement a new homeschool mom (or any mom, really) needs.

Developing Hobbies/Career

One of my "priorities" when both of my children got into school was to catch up on their scrapbooks. 

(I guess I thought it was more important to document their past than it was to live in the present with them. Sad.)

I also had plans to restart my career and start a preschool music program for moms and kids. I was also going to grow my piano studio.

Those priorities reflected MY wants and desires. 

The decision to homeschool quickly reminded me that my priorities needed to be my FAMILY.  Those priorities needed to be centered around making sure my children received the best education and discipleship my husband and I could give them in the finite amount of time we have with them. 

And guess what?  My blog is now my scrapbook and I have started a NEW career through this site and writing the SQUILT music appreciation curriculum.

God's pretty cool like that.

Suggestions:

  • If you feel like you have given up a career, find a simple job to do part time or work from home
  • Starting a blog is a great outlet - iBlog is a great resource to get you started!

Finances

I have heard the financial card played so many times when people say they just can't homeschool.

I also know a lot of moms that work from home and homeschool because they want it so badly.

The decision to homeschool derailed our grand plans to bolster our savings account, save for college, and finish our basement.

Our priorities had to change.

I believe we are investing in the eternal with our children's education and the decision for me to stay home and educate them.

And, just as in the above case of restarting my career, God has provided. 

I used to think success was a huge home, big vacations, and a big bank account. 

I was SO very wrong. 

Those things are not bad, but chasing after them at the expense of your children's precious hearts is. 

 

I think all of this was a wake up call for me. We are MUCH better stewards of the resources God has given us, and I would like to think we are teaching our children that THINGS are temporary, but RELATIONSHIPS are eternal.

Suggestions:

  • Don't buy too much curriculum - LESS IS MORE!
  • Read and apply the principles in Total Money Makeover

Friendships

If you are new to the homeschooling world, your friendships over the next few years will change. 

You will slowly begin to see there are so many wonderful homeschool families in this world. Those friendships have enriched my life in so many ways.

You will also begin to see your friends who TRULY support your decision to homeschool. They will be the ones who support you (even if their children go to traditional school), who speak up on your behalf, and who celebrate your successes. 

You may have friends (and I'm sad to say I experienced this on a couple of fronts) that question your decision openly, or decide to belittle your decision behind your back.

All I can say is this:  Trust God to provide just what you need. He will equip you with the people to lift you up and support you on this journey.  Don't be afraid to disassociate yourself with someone who isn't good for you or your children.

Suggestions:

  • Join a local homeschool co-op and make friends - for you and your children!
  • Are you a member of a homeschool friendly church? This can make a huge difference.
  • Don't be afraid to share your struggles - every single homeschool mom has them.

Future

In the world of traditional school the goal is clear: study hard, get good grades, and go to college. 

Where is the wonder or the passion in that? 

The way we view education has been so dramatically changed - the normal "path" after high school may not be what's best for my kids, and that's ok. 

I want to raise children who become THINKING and FEELING adults. I want them to CONTRIBUTE to this world, not just perpetuate a giant system where everyone is on an assembly line to nowhere. 

I don't know what the future holds, but I'm trusting God to guide my children as they mature and change. 

The "future" isn't as big of a priority as it once was - or maybe I should say the "future" that is deemed acceptable by our culture isn't our prioirity anymore. 

Suggestions:

  • Be open to alternate paths for your children - never say never to anything.
  • Read Educating The Wholehearted Child - this is a great inspiration and helped me change my way of thinking about education.

 

Are you new to homeschooling this year?  Does any of this ring true with you?  

Are you a veteran homeschooler who has seen a radical shift in your priorities?  

Let's start a conversation!  

By the way - this weeks eBook bundle of the week (5 ebooks for $7.40) is all about homeschooling!  This is a GREAT deal, so snag it this week (beginning Monday at 8 a.m. ET).

 

 *photo courtesy Arabella Benson (Flickr)