If you’re wondering what a homeschooler’s journey to college looks like you’re in the right place.

When we decided to homeschool we abandoned the traditional ideal of public school.

It was easy to leave those ideals behind when our children were younger, but as our children matured things changed - the stakes were suddenly higher. It felt like my children’s future after high school hinged on so many of the decisions that were made in high school.

I wanted to remain true to my daughter’s interests and our family’s commitment to a Christ centered home education. I needed to be sure we weren’t missing the most important thing. It was important to my husband and me not to “sell out” just because we were worried about a child getting into college!

Take heart, parents - I am every bit as confident of our decision to homeschool as the parent of a 17 year old as I was when I was the parent of an 8 year old!

Preparing a homeschooler for college has been easier than I expected, and not nearly as stress-filled as I had been led to believe. These are exciting times, and I’d like to share them with you.

For what it’s worth, here’s a little advice to get this series started:

Start Early

Begin researching and thinking about your child’s high school education as early as 7th grade. Bookmark this page at HSLDA and refer to it often. It contains a WEALTH of information.

Plan with Your Child

Include your child in the planning of their upper grades education. Ask them what they want to study, what kinds of volunteer work and extracurriculars they want to take part in.

That investment in their education will build ownership - and ultimately we are preparing them for life beyond our homes, which includes A LOT of ownership!

Pray with them

Last year during the 40 days of Lent we made the commitment to pray aloud every evening as a family. This wasn’t always easy to do with two teens in the house, but we did it!

The blessings that came out of those 40 days blew us away and we found ourselves continuing this practice after Lent was over.

The habit of prayer is perhaps the most valuable you can instill in your children - at any age.

Seek Community

A supportive community of families who are on the same path can make all the difference!

Are you walking this road with other parents whose children have similar values and goals?

Bearing one another’s burdens and sharing information will be invaluable to you. There are many wonderful online resources for support, but nothing can compare to families in your community who are going through the same thing as you.

Find a Mentor

If at all possible, find another parent who has walked this road before you and can hold your hand along the way.

If at all possible, find another homeschooler who was walked this road before your homeschooler and can hold THEIR hand along the way.

Don’t Check Out

You might be tempted to assume that because your child is older and more independent that you can step back a bit in the high school years.

I have news for you. In many ways you need to be MORE present during this time. It’s just a different kind of present - it’s an emotional and mental availability all teens require.

There are many big ideas our kids will be facing during these years, and they need to know you are there with them, learning alongside them, and advocating for them. You need to be available for your child 24/7.

Don’t Get Caught Up in the Rat Race

I don’t know about you, but there can be a lot of pressure for kids to achieve a lot in high school - especially in traditional school. The emphasis is on doing MORE and being BUSY.

Is this how we want our children to live the rest of their lives?

We need to remember the most important thing: we want our children to be good people, serving God through serving others, developing their talents, and growing in their faith.

Yes, a college education is of value, but it is not the ULTIMATE goal of our efforts.

Keep this in mind as you travel through high school with your child.

Savor Each Moment

I know I don’t need to tell you this, but sometimes the days go slow but the years go fast. It seems we were just doing thumbprint art and making LEGO landmarks.

It goes in the blink of an eye.

Don’t forget to allow your family plenty of time to be together - play games, take field trips, read aloud. (You can still do these things when your child is in high school! )

This series will continue with these topics:

Do you have any questions about the homeschool journey to college?

Ask in the comments below and I’ll do my best to answer them in the upcoming series.

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Homeschool High School: Follow that Child

Homeschool High School: Don’t Lose the Wonder

Socialization is a common concern of parents of older homeschoolers. Many families make the decision to send their children to traditional school for this reason. A common myth is that our older kids simply “need” things that only a school environment can provide.

This is actually one of those times where I agree with the myth.

(Well, partly.)

I believe we can stay the course for homeschool in the middle and high school years. I also believe, however, that we need to provide our children with a broader range - and more “school-like” opportunities at this age.

As our children mature into the middle and high school years, we need to keep in mind the need they have for independence, belonging, and ownership.

Learning everything from mom and/or a textbook won’t cut it. Sports teams are increasingly difficult to find for older homeschoolers. Children need other voices of authority and accountability.

The teen years are a tricky transition time - at any age - but for homeschoolers there are many decisions and changes to be faced.

Contrary to popular belief, our older homeschoolers can easily become “unsocialized” without some effort on our parts — here are some ways to keep your big kids engaged and socialied!

We must be intentional about the academic, physical, and peer opportunities we provide for our homeschoolers. It is an interesting situation, though, because as we step away so our children can assume more independence, we need to be MORE involved in and knowledgeable about their activities.

To put this in simple terms - homeschooling our teens requires more head space! Increasing independence doesn’t mean parents can step out… quite the opposite!

Academics Socialization in Upper Grades Homeschool

Do you recall a specific teacher that truly excited you about a subject?

I remember an English teacher in middle school who was passionate about language. Learning beautiful words was a priority in her class. The influence of Mrs. Willets, followed by my wonderful literature teacher, Mrs. O’Connor, the next year, created a love of reading and writing in my young mind.

Our homeschoolers need these types of experiences. How will they discover a passion unless it has been shared with them?

My daughter, Anna, discovered a love for science after having two great teachers in Chemistry and Anatomy & Physiology. - teachers at a local classical school she attends. I am CERTAIN if she wouldn’t have taken these classes she would never have discovered her interest in science.

We can still retain the “homeschool” atmosphere while giving our children varied academic voices. All of the following options are still “homeschool”, but they give kids the chance to hear from expert voices:

online classes (Mr D Math is a perfect example - he completely reversed my daughter’s feelings about math!)
local homeschool hybrid schools/co-ops
parent-taught classes by ANOTHER parent who has expertise in a certain area (maybe an IT dad who would teach a coding class, or an accountant mom who teaches a math class).
mentorship with a member of the community who is willing to take a child under their wing and teach them about a particular area

(I loved that my kids got to meet Mr. D in person - we highly recommend him for upper grades math!)

Kids love learning from an “expert” — Mr. D Math is a great example for another voice that can speak into our homeschooled teens!

Most teens work harder for a “teacher” than they will for mom or dad.

And, having the experience of time pressures, grades, and serious accountability not only prepares our children for college (or whatever comes next) but it also provides them with a feeling of accomplishment and confidence when it is all said and done.

I have found mixing a variety of teacher, parent, and student-led coursework to be the perfect marriage in our homeschool. My daughter has a lovely mixture of online and in person coursework, self-study, mentorship, and parent-led instruction, too.

Physical Socialization in Upper Grades Homeschool

Many teens have a deep need and desire to take part in a sport and/or be part of a team. If this physical outlet isn’t met, all other things will suffer.

What is a parent to do, however, when their child reaches 8th grade and the opportunities for things like Little League and other rec sports dwindle?

Creating opportunities for sports teams in upper grades homeschool - Homegrown Learners

A few ideas:

Do you live in a state where homeschoolers can play on public school teams? (Some states like Alabama have laws in place to provide for this.) Find out about these state laws at HSLDA.
Many private schools allow homeschoolers to play on their teams - my son plays basketball for a local Christian school.
Create your own opportunity. For example, my kids played on a homeschool USTA tennis team. A few moms worked with local tennis coaches to set up instruction times, and then registered a USTA team of homeschoolers.
Check the YMCA - our YMCA offers certain sports through high school and I have also seen special opportunities for homeschoolers, too.
Ask around, and if an opportunity doesn’t exist - create one yourself!

The physical outlets we provide for our kids are every bit as important as the academic outlets!

Peer Socialization in Upper Grades Homeschool

This can be THE MOST CHALLENGING part of homeschooling teens - friendships.

When our children are younger simple park dates and field trips are enough for socialization, but as our children mature they need deeper friendships with meaningful connections.

The world of traditional school encourages our children to cast their nets wide rather than deep — more is better, right?

More friends. More activities. More AP classes. More, more, more.

In the homeschool world we have the beautiful opportunity to encourage our children to go DEEP.

Socialization in Middle and High School Homeschool

Cultivate a few lasting friendships. Hone in on one or two activities you enjoy. Study a few things that are of interest to you. Less is more. The gift of space is HUGE for our teens.

Keep this in mind as you think about socialization and your teen. We need to cast aside the notions of what “should” be for our kids, and give ourselves permission to let them be who they are, without the pressure of a school telling them what to do.

I would encourage you to do everything you can to steer your teen towards healthy social outlets - even creating them yourself - so that you can provide them with strong friendships and activities during their middle and high school years.

Examples:

activities with local homeschool groups (we have a few that put on dances during the school year - so much fun!)
participating in a local co-op or hybrid school where different families take turns hosting social events for the teens
choosing activities carefully where your children have good friends
making your home inviting and a gathering place, so your child can invite their friends over
carefully cultivating a homeschool circle of families - a group you will travel the entire educational journey with

I have been so pleased with the homeschool path we have taken with our children. My children are happy and safe. They have kind friends who support them. They aren’t concerned about superficial things like boyfriends and girlfriends, clothing, popularity, or social media. We have worked hard to craft a life that is meaningful and valuable for them - minus the junk our world has told them should naturally just be a part of being a teenager.

Let me encourage you to stay the homeschool course with your big kids.

It’s SO worth it.

Do you homeschool big kids?

What unique opportunities have they taken advantage of that you can share with us?

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High School Math with Mr. D
Homeschooling the Middle School Boy

Homeschool to College