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Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

Let's assume you and your child are confident in the decision to homeschool high school. That's a big step. 

Give yourself a pat on the back.  (and ignore everyone who keeps telling you they could NEVER homeschool high school!)

You are homeschooling high school so your child can pursue their passions and become their own unique self. You are homeschooling high school because you don't want all of the horrible social pressures traditional high school can bring. You are homeschooling high school to give your child something MORE - something BEAUTIFUL - something tailored to THEIR NEEDS.

Somewhere along the line, however, your child (and YOU) lose the wonder in homeschool. You're checking off boxes and meeting college entrance requirements.  Somewhere along the line you forgot  these four years are about EDUCATION, not SCHOOLING.  

Somewhere along the line you lost YOUR vision for high school and adopted someone else's. 

This happened in our homeschool, and I want to tell you how (and why) we're making a big change.

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

The Blissful Early Years of Homeschool (aka "The Wonder Years")

My oldest had a wonder-filled homeschool experience in the elementary grades.  

We have so many fond memories of our days using the Five in a Row curriculum - days where we would take nature walks, bake pies, read aloud, and spend hours and hours lost in an art project.

Then there were the years where The Story of the World was our guide . Wonderful read-alouds, notebooking, and hands-on projects were the staples of our days.

If there was a science topic my daughter was interested in we would research it and find a fun lapbook.

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

Those were GOOD days. My daughter learned so much and she LOVED learning. 

We were so far from what a typical "classroom" looked like, but it didn't matter because I knew there was an abundance of education happening in and out of our home. 

The stakes were low in elementary school and I knew we had several years to just soak it all in. 

And Then... Middle School

As we got into middle school, adolescence hit - motivation decreased and we needed more accountability and motivation.  

These were the years we visited a couple private schools and investigated ALL of our education options. I wondered if I could keep homeschooling through this stage of life. I wondered if my relationship with my daughter could survive it. 

Have you been there?

Ultimately, we chose the CC Challenge program  in the 7th and 8th grade years - it was an excellent fit for us.  (You can read all about our time in Challenge A and B if you'd like.) The "seriousness" of our homeschool was taken up a notch and I felt  we were getting the guidance and direction we needed for those years. 

Throughout these years my daughter was showing a natural bent towards music (she played the piano and sang in a large children's chorus). She loved volunteering at a local preschool. She was showing some interest in the special needs ministry at our church.  

I won't tell you these years were easy, because they weren't.  But, I know this time around (as my son approaches 7th grade this year) that these changes are NORMAL - I don't take things so personally, and I am well aware of the turmoil that occurs in children during these years. 

As we moved toward  high school we had a few doubts about continuing with the Challenge program, but because we had been pleased in Challenge A and B and also because it is just such a beautiful curriculum, we forged ahead and committed to the Challenge years for high school.

I had a nagging feeling that we should maybe step away from Challenge and return our interest led routes, but in all honesty I was fearful: fearful about how I was going to transcript high school, fearful about college admissions, and fearful about how we would compare to everyone else.

(I confronted this fear I had --- even writing a blog post about it -- and felt equipped to tackle the future.)

Homeschool High School: Why MY Plan Didn't Work

My daughter 9th grade year -- Challenge I -- was a year rich in American history, music theory, personal finance, and all of the beautiful things Challenge I had to offer.  Her tutor that year was truly a gift and invested a great deal in each student. It was a GOOD year, but I noticed that WONDER of learning was fading.

I assumed this was just part of being a teenager. 

I began to notice my daughter  spending A LOT of time doing her schoolwork. She didn't have time that year to volunteer at the preschool. Her piano practice suffered. While I knew she was learning a lot of valuable information, I had the nagging feeling we were losing what made Anna uniquely "Anna" in the process.

Once again, I assumed this was just what would happen - it was a natural part of growing up, a natural part of the high school years. 

As we made the decision for schooling in 10th grade we decided once again to enroll in Challenge (this time Challenge II) -- most of the children in her group were moving up and it seemed like the logical choice. This was our trajectory for high school.

Somewhere along the line I had stopped listening to what my daughter wanted and and started listening to what other wanted.png

It was settled.

Anna's 10th grade year in Challenge II was full of beautiful subject matter,  but extremely literature intensive. She had always been my child who loved to read, but the volume and intensity of the British Literature in Challenge II virtually killed her love of reading. 

I told myself this was probably normal and that she would love reading again one day (or would she?) .

I loved that Anna was learning Latin (we had invested in the Memoria Press online Henle Latin classes and she was doing well - having completed Latin I and Latin II) - but she didn't like Latin and was begging me to take sign language.

Another big thing  she WANTED was more of a regular classroom experience. In a very mature thought, she told me if she was accountable to a teacher she would be happier. She longed to have traditional grades and assignments. My normally shy, reserved child (who doesn't like new situations) was requesting to try something NEW.  

While she did learn a lot in her 10th grade year,  we strove to keep her involved in the things she loved. These loves, however, were always on the fringes of her "education". She was having to fit them in AFTER her regular school work.

As Anna and I sat and talked in the middle of the year, we started contemplating stepping away from Challenge so she could make those LOVES her education. She didn't feel a connection to her education. Somewhere along the line we had lost the wonder, and we BOTH agreed we wanted it back. 

Somewhere along the line I had stopped listening to what my daughter wanted and started listening to what others said. 

Please don't misunderstand - she learned MANY valuable things in her Challenge years. She is well read, articulate, and well versed in the fine arts. She has a good understanding of Latin and geography. She understands how everything is connected and how God is a part of everything. She can debate skillfully and carry on a beautiful conversation. 

There was a definite time and place for her Challenge education.  I know many wonderful young people that have schooled all the way through high school with Challenge. It just isn't the plan for us, so we can step away and make a new plan - and that's the beauty of homeschool.

God orchestrates everything for a reason, so I cannot look back and wonder why we made the choices we made.

All I could do was honor my daughter's request for her final high school years. 

The "Plan" for 11th Grade

Once the decision was made to NOT return to Challenge III for 11th grade, it seemed like a huge weight was lifted from all of us.

She still needed the required credits for graduation, but we could go about them in a more flexible way.

Anna and I sat down with the high school graduation requirements and also the Music Therapy entrance requirements at a college here in Georgia (Anna would REALLY like to pursue Music Therapy.)

She decided she needed to start learning to play guitar (in addition to piano) to prepare her for Music Therapy. We found a FABULOUS guitar teacher who has done such beautiful things with Anna. She was thrilled that I honored her request to learn guitar - and she has done so much in just a few months! (This is my reserved child that vowed she would never sing alone in front of people.)

 

She wants to volunteer at a local school for children with special needs.

In speaking to a few college admissions offices I knew that a mixture of AP and dual enrollment classes are a good idea. I started to gain confidence about us designing a junior year that would be rigorous, yet interest led and more full of wonder for Anna.

So, what does this schedule for the coming year look like?

  • AP European History  (taken through HSLDA Academy)
  • AP Language & Composition (taken through Memoria Press Online Academy)
  • Pre-Calculus & Trigonometry (taken through Mr. D Math) OR Dual Enrollment College Math
  • Chemistry (taken through a local Classical school)
  • Sign Language (taken through a local homeschool academy)
  • Guitar and piano
  • Volunteer work with a special needs club & music ministry and babysitting

 

Now that we are in the summer before 11th grade, I see a big change in my daughter. Her delight and love of learning have returned. She has her nose stuck in a book again. She's keeping a practice schedule for her piano and guitar, even though it's summer. 

I believe she has been freed up to be herself  once I removed MY PLAN from her education. 

My Advice (For What It's Worth) For Homeschooling High School

My advice to you is this:  

Listen to your child.

Listen to your heart.

Pray.

Pray some more.

Make yourself aware of all of the education options, but please don't be swayed by accreditation. I'm finding being unaccredited actually helps a child stand out during the college admissions process. 

Sit down with your child and map out all of the credits they will need. Give them a hand in planning their high school years. Make sure it includes what they love to do. Ensure you are giving them opportunities to shine. 

Seek opportunities for other adults to build into your child. 

If your child is the type that needs accountability, make sure they have it. 

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

Remind yourself of WHY you started homeschooling in the first place. There is no need to compromise during the home stretch of your journey.  There is always a way to work things out if you and your child desire to homeschool.

ENJOY the process. Spend a lot of time with your child - because whether you think so or not, they really crave your attention. 

Most importantly, NEVER forget your child's heart.

As I look back on all of the stages of homeschool each one has its highs and lows. Now that we're approaching the end of high school I'm thankful I get to hang out with a really cool kid - a precious gift from God that has been entrusted to me for a short time.

 

So, that's our story.  So many of you have written asking about this. I hope it's answered your questions.

 

Talk to me about your homeschool high school journey. How is it going?

 

Homeschool High School: Don't Lose the Wonder

Won't My Homeschooler Miss The Prom?

I had such silly fears when we started to homeschool.

Will my children have friends? Will I have enough time to myself? How will I teach them math? 

and, of course....

What about the PROM? 

That question is actually laughable to me now, but I GET IT. I understand how this could be a hangup to homeschooling, because the question really isn't about "THE PROM", it is about something much larger.

 

Won't My Homeschooler Miss The Prom?

It's Not Really About THE PROM

The world has told you to put your children in school - to send them away to others for the majority of every day. Most people (myself included) have done this, dutifully putting our children into a system because we didn't know any other way. 

We have relied on this system (either as parents or students) for most everything "social" in our lives, haven't we?  

From Valentine boxes, field days, and perfect attendance awards in elementary school --- to Honor Society, Pep Rallies, and THE PROM in high school -- we have been taught that these are just the things children DO.  

When you begin to homeschool guess what happens?

You slowly start to QUESTION everything about the system. You begin to wonder what the POINT of so many of these rituals are. You ask yourself what the point in them is -- other than the fact simply "everyone else is doing it".

(After I read Weapons of Mass Instruction the homeschool deal was sealed - I was officially questioning everything about education as I had knew it.)

Because you see, once you have the courage to homeschool you then begin to have the courage to question most things surrounding traditional school, and that questioning redefines the experiences you provide for your children.

And guess what?   

You can give them experiences that are JUST AS GOOD (if not better).  YOU get to decide what is best for them. 

And yes, one of those experiences is THE PROM.... 

 

But What's So Wrong With The Prom, Anyway?

(Please let me explain, this is meant to encourage you if you're worried about missing prom - it's not meant as an attack on those of you who participate in prom. Not everyone shares my homeschool convictions, but we can still be friends. I've also seen some lovely young people participate in prom and not get caught up in the nonsense. I'm writing about this to show some TRUTHS about why we have chosen a different path.)

We encourage our high schoolers (really still children themselves) to ask dates to a formal event.  Do you remember the heartache, drama, and embarrassment that went into finding a prom date?  Then, there is the distraction of asking your date to prom (many times involving elaborate signs, declarations, and Instagram posts), when you should really be focused on LEARNING.   

Next comes dress shopping, which can be a financial strain, not to mention have you tried finding a sweet, modest formal dress for a teen girl lately?  It's not easy. 

Let's move on to the expense of the event.  Dinner, prom tickets (yes, they sell tickets to prom now), sometimes a limo, flowers, and gifts.  

I'm wondering if this is really teaching our children how to best steward their resources? 

Finally, the event itself involves our teens on their own, many times staying out until the next morning.

Is this really the experience we want for our children - drama, spending too much money, embarrassment, staying out until all hours on their own, competing for status on social media? 

Give Them Something Better 

Giving my children something better was the main reason I decided to abandon the ideal of public school. 

And, as with most things, the issue of prom has turned out to be something we figured out -- and I think we are giving  better in this area, too.

Our local homeschool group has its own version of prom - it is greatly scaled back and most kids go as friends.  But, the option for a formal event is there. We also have several groups in our area that do spring dances, English Country Dances, and other social events.  There are ample opportunities for our teens to be together and have wholesome fun. 

My own daughter has already been to two formal events this spring - the most recent being Classical Conversations Protocol.  It's such a great alternative to prom.  

The young people receive etiquette instruction.  They attend a formal dinner (either in someone's home or at a restaurant) and then a cultural event. 

It's a meaningful, purposeful way to give our teens that social experience they crave - without the expense, drama, or potential of drinking and harmful activities. 

And that's just it - purposeful training of our children that instills manners, appreciation of others, themselves, and things of beauty. 

Don't they look great? 

 

Won't My Homeschooler Miss The Prom?

I watched these kids use impeccable manners, while spending time with all of their friends in an age appropriate, wholesome manner. They were genuinely interested in each other, esteeming each other and taking part in thoughtful conversation. 

Isn't this what we want from them when they are adults?  

Consider this (from a protocol participant)

“Protocol creates polite, friendly atmosphere. Dressed in finery, our manners display our best; we are the same, but different. I like to think we reinvent our relationships from our day to day seminar experiences. I do. I relish my conversations; I esteem my dinner companions. The fellowship of a long, shared dinner is more than just eating. It is a banquet of hearts and minds.

I love opera: the musical drama of colorful costumes, of beautiful scenery, and of amazing singing. I reflect on emotions moved by brilliant orchestration combined with excellent libretto. Do people put a feather in their cap for seeing opera performances? Maybe, or maybe like me, they place their programs on a bookshelf to denote a special evening of dazzled senses. Either way, by making memories with management, by creating connections with context, and by reinventing relationships with relish, this marks more than an evening of artistry. This marks a slice of life that is worthwhile.”
— Protocol participant

So, in answer to the question "Won't My Homeschooler Miss the Prom?" I would say NO.  

After you have been homeschooling awhile the issue of not having a "prom" will seem very silly to you, too. You will already be in the habit of functioning outside the box, and prom will be no different.

Talk to me about prom. What do your high school homeschoolers do?  

Won't My Homeschooler Miss the Prom?